Hurt

I write today, while I should definetley be sleeping, again, far later than I had planned, but yet again, life has seemingly decided that it doesn't particularly like me.

I've been feeling increasingly trapped lately, trapped in a world working against me at every possible turn, of course, a lot of the problems I'm facing are my own doing but, in trying to fix, or even work around them, I come up against seemingly unsurpassable walls. At work I've yet to meet the new tutor I mentioned in the last post, still being paid tuppance while working myself to the bone. Truth of the matter is, I'm not going to be able to afford to eat for the last week of this month, largely due to unexpected bike repairs. It's a truly terrifing prospect, even for me, with all the layers of protection I have, I genuinley cannot imagine how people in worse situations manage. I'm even considering a second job, but, being honest with myself, while working 40 hours a week, volunteering at least 4, and performing another 6+, I don't think I'd be able to do it without driving myself insane with stress.

I'm working on devoloping some of my other skills, and learning new ones in order to make a bit on the side, but it's a lot of work, and will take time to bear any fruit, if it ever does. I will keep going though, I've got to, both in learning new skills, improving current ones, and searching for work I can fit in on the side.

I will get out of this, no matter how impossible that may seem right now. The world may be against me, against all of us, but I'm not going down without a hard fucking fight.

In slightly better news, we've started rehearsals for Kipps, my thoughts are still a bit mixed on everything, but I'm still determined to make the best of what I have been given.

Short post today, but I really need to sleep.

Song of the moment: Hurt, by Nine Inch Nails, or Johnny Cash, dealers choice. Been feeling this one deeply lately.

Bye for now,

Love, Adam XxX